People love to talk about blowjobs as if technique is everything — deepthroat, pace, duration, even things like CIM — but in real life, that focus is exactly why so many blow jobs end up being forgettable.
After years of experience and honest conversations, most bad blowjobs come down to two mistakes.
The first is pressure. When oral sex feels expected, negotiated, or transactional, the blowjob loses its spark immediately. Whether it’s casual sex, a hookup, or a long term situation, pressure turns oral sex into a chore instead of an experience.
The second mistake is performance over presence. Obsessing over deep throat, copying porn, or trying to deliver a “perfect blowjob” usually makes it mechanical. The best oral sex happens when both people are relaxed and tuned in, not chasing a checklist.
Curious how others see this — especially when it comes to expectations around deep throat or finishing styles like CIM.
Pressure is the biggest killer. Once a blowjob feels like it’s owed, the whole dynamic changes. I’ve had technically impressive blow jobs that felt empty because there was no genuine desire behind them.
The best oral sex always starts without a script.
The obsession with deepthroat is a great example. A deep throat blowjob can be hot, but only if it’s wanted. When someone forces it because they think it’s required, the blowjob instantly feels awkward.
Comfort matters more than any specific move.
Same with CIM expectations. Some people fixate on how a blowjob should end instead of enjoying the oral sex itself. That pressure alone can ruin what could have been a great blow job.
Not every blowjob needs to follow the same pattern.
I think porn plays a big role here. People expect every blowjob to look a certain way — nonstop deepthroat, exaggerated reactions, perfect timing. Real oral sex doesn’t work like that.
Once you drop those expectations, blowjobs improve instantly.
What separates a good blowjob from a great blowjob is awareness. Reading reactions, adjusting naturally, and staying present beats any specific technique. Deep throat, pace, or finish style only work when they fit the moment.
Most bad blowjobs come from the person giving it trying too hard instead of paying attention to feedback.
