The biggest mistake I keep seeing is guys confusing legit spas with soapy parlors. They walk into a proper place in Sukhumvit, start winking and asking for “special,” and end up embarrassing everyone.
Do your homework. Nuru, Soapy, and full-service are different tiers — and they each have their etiquette.
And one more thing: tip after, not before. It keeps the vibe respectful.

My first time in a Pattaya massage parlor was a disaster. I didn’t know the difference between a fishbowl and a spa room. I just pointed at a number and followed the girl upstairs. It was awkward — I was nervous, she was silent.
Learned fast: if you want a good experience, talk to the mamasan first. She’ll tell you what’s on the menu without saying it directly.

Biggest mistake? Letting alcohol make the decisions.
Half the bad massage stories I’ve heard start with “I’d been drinking.”
You walk in half-drunk, pick whoever smiles first, and end up regretting it.
Go sober, go early, and go with a clear head. You’ll enjoy it more and spend less.

Guys forget these girls are human. They remember the polite customers.
If you visit the same erotic massage parlor more than once, tip consistently and greet staff like friends.
Next time, you’ll get the best room, softer hands, longer sessions — all because you acted like a gentleman, not a customer.

The biggest trap right now is fake online ads.
A lot of places on Google Maps or Telegram show fantasy photos — then you show up and it’s a completely different setup.
Best rule: walk in, look around, and trust your gut. If it feels sketchy, leave.
Thailand has hundreds of good parlors; no reason to stay in a bad one.

The biggest mistake I see in Bangkok massage parlors is walking into the wrong kind of place with the wrong mindset. You’ve got everything here — from 200-baht foot massage shops on Soi 11, to luxury soapy massage temples like Poseidon or Nataree on Ratchadaphisek Road. A lot of guys think every door with a neon sign offers the same service. It doesn’t.
If you want the full soapy massage experience, go where the fishbowl lineup is visible. If you want Nuru or body-to-body, you need a dedicated Nuru spa — not just a regular “oil massage” shop. Ask first, politely. And for God’s sake, don’t start negotiating loudly in the lobby; this isn’t a market. Keep it smooth, keep it discreet.

In Pattaya, especially along Soi Buakhao and Second Road, every third massage shop offers a “special.” The rookie mistake is thinking the cheapest place gives the best deal. You pay 300 baht for an hour, and you’ll get what you paid for — a tired therapist who’s half-done before the oil even warms up.
If you want the real happy ending massage, stick to midrange parlors — the ones that smell clean, have air conditioning, and show clear prices.
Ask for names and look for regular faces. The good masseuses stay put. The revolving-door shops are where tourists get overcharged or disappointed.

My first mistake was thinking every erotic massage in Bangkok automatically meant full service. Nope. Some are Nuru-only, some are soapy-style with light teasing, others are legit with zero extras. I walked into one near Asoke, handed over 1,800 baht, and halfway through realized I’d booked an honest-to-God deep-tissue massage from a lady built like a Muay Thai trainer.
Lesson learned: clarify gently before you pay. The girls appreciate when you’re direct but polite. Say “oil massage or body-to-body?” with a smile. They’ll tell you the truth. Don’t assume, and don’t get angry if it’s not what you expected.

For me, the real art lies in the big soapy parlors — like those in Bangkok’s Ratchada district or Phuket Town. Tourists mess up by treating it like a brothel. It’s not. It’s a performance. The fishbowl girls are ranked by looks, price, and experience. But the secret is the “off-menu” ones — the semi-retired beauties who don’t sit in the window. Ask the mamasan quietly, and you’ll often find better chemistry and service.
Another mistake: rushing straight to the shower. Take your time, chat, let her guide the rhythm. A proper soapy massage should feel like a slow symphony, not a sprint.

Up here in Chiang Mai, things are calmer but the same rules apply. The mistake is thinking because it’s the north, everything’s innocent. Wrong. There are dozens of erotic massage parlors tucked between Nimman and the old city. What sets the good ones apart is atmosphere — clean rooms, soft lighting, no pushy sales talk.
If you want the best experience, ask locals or long-term expats for their favorite Nuru or body-to-body massage spots. The quality varies, but when you find the right one, it can feel almost therapeutic — not just physical release but mental reset.
And always tip decently — these girls remember kindness, and next time, you’ll get the real VIP treatment without even asking.