I’ve been on Seeking Arrangement for almost six years now. At the start, I thought I had control because I was paying. But looking back, the girls who stayed in my head — the ones who made me feel something — always had the upper hand.
Money sets the stage, but emotions direct the play. The sugar baby who can connect and detach at the same time is the one driving the car.

I’ve met sugar babies both on Secret Benefits and in real life here in Thailand. The biggest shift happens when the man starts needing validation. Once that happens, the money becomes background noise.
My best sugar relationship was with a Bangkok student who was upfront: “I don’t want a boyfriend, I want mentorship and fun.” That honesty flipped the script — I respected her boundaries, and she respected my generosity. Control turned into cooperation.

Control is fluid. A sugar daddy controls early on because he sets the tone — allowance, schedule, expectations. But over time, the sugar baby controls the mood, attention, and emotional rhythm.
Most of the women I’ve met on Seeking Arrangement UK are emotionally sharper than men realize. They’re reading psychology books while you’re reading her profile.

The mistake most sugar daddies make is underestimating emotional dependence. Once you start needing a specific sugar baby — the way she texts, her energy, that Friday night routine — you’ve lost your balance.
Sugar dating only works long-term when you manage your own emotions. I now rotate between connections — light, respectful, no illusions — and it keeps things fair for both sides.

Real control isn’t about money or beauty — it’s about self-control.
I’ve seen sugar babies who spiral after one breakup, and sugar daddies who throw money trying to fix loneliness. Neither has control.
In every healthy sugar relationship, both sides know their boundaries and why they’re there. The sugar daddy controls his spending and emotions; the sugar baby controls her time and emotional availability. That balance is rare — but when it works, it’s the most honest kind of arrangement there is.