7 Erotic Massage Mistakes Tourists Keep Making in Bangkok

Don’t Be That Guy: Avoid These Massage Mistakes in Bangkok

And how not to look like a sweaty rookie with 2,000 baht and no clue

Every day in Bangkok, hundreds of first-timers walk into massage parlors expecting a sexy fantasy… and walk out dazed, shortchanged, or just deeply confused. Don’t be one of them.

After 15 years covering Bangkok’s erotic massage scene, I’ve seen all the rookie moves. Most are innocent. Some are hilarious. A few will cost you real money — or worse, kill the mood entirely. Here are the 7 most common mistakes tourists make when chasing happy endings in the City of Angels — and how to avoid them.

1. Assuming “Massage” Means Erotic by Default

Just because you see “Thai Massage” on the sign doesn’t mean there’s a happy ending waiting inside. In fact, most of the city’s massage shops are 100% legit. And the legit ones are really good at looking exactly like the naughty ones.

Pro tip: Look for signs like red lighting, flirtier-than-average greeters, “VIP room” offers, or subtle hints like “Body Massage” or “Special Oil Treatment.” Still unsure? Just ask — discreetly.

2. Picking the First Girl Who Smiles at You

It’s Bangkok. They all smile at you. That’s the job. But rushing your pick often means you get the pushiest girl, not the best one.

What to do instead: Take your time. Watch who others are choosing. See who’s relaxed and confident without trying too hard. The best girls don’t beg. They know their regulars will find them.

3. Not Asking What’s Included — Upfront

You paid for the massage. But the “extras” you were expecting? Surprise — they cost more. And she’ll tell you after you’re slippery and emotionally invested. Classic move.

Always ask:

“What does the massage include?”
“Is there any special service?”
“How much total?”

If she’s vague, walk. There are 2,000 other massage shops within stumbling distance.

4. Thinking It’s All About Sex

Here’s the truth: most men love erotic massages because it’s not just about sex. It’s about being cared for. You’re pampered. She’s in control. You don’t have to perform. No expectations, no effort — just touch, warmth, and surrender. That’s the magic.

Miss this, and you miss the whole point.

5. Skipping the Shower

Yes, it’s hot outside. Yes, you’re sweaty. No, you should not lie down smelling like a street pad Thai stand. Nothing kills her enthusiasm faster than a client who skipped the shower.

If a shower’s offered — take it. If it’s not, ask. She’ll appreciate it more than any tip.

6. Not Bringing the Right Amount of Cash

Some parlors take card. Most don’t. Freelancers? Definitely not. And you really don’t want to haggle over ATM fees while your towel’s half-off.

Bring the right cash — split between base massage fee and tip. A neat stack of 500s and 1000s makes you look like a pro. A sweaty 100 baht note with a ripped corner? Not so much.

7. Not Knowing Your Options

This is the big one. Bangkok’s massage scene isn’t just “happy ending or not.” You’ve got:

• Soapy massages
• Nuru gel slides
• Body-to-body
• Hotel outcalls
• BJ massage
• Tantric sensual sessions
• And everything in between

Want to know exactly what’s available, where, and how much?
Here’s the real move:

👉 Read Bangkok’s Ultimate Massage Guide →

It’s not a list. It’s the breakdown — soapy to sensual, Ratchada to Sukhumvit, full-service to feather-touch. If you’re serious about exploring Bangkok’s erotic side, this is your map, compass, and survival kit in one.